Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
