This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
