HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I want you more than these girls want KFC
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She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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