is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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