I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
