But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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