Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize