Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
