Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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