That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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