i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
