You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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