Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
