didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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