I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
