You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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