She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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