the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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