please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
