strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
