He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
