I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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