he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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