and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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