sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
