he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
