Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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