There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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