u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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