You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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