it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
