he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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