So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
