you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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