I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
