I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We talked him into tasing himself.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
