Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
