I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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