There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
