and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
zippers are such a cool invention
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
