Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
