It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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