I just saw a hot homeless man
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
