That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
