people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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