I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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