I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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