When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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