Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize