The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
