im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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