My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
