We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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