The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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