i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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