I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
